Today's piece is for my #ifdrawaweek group the prompt is citrus which is really fun. I love drawing food and from nature! I have to catch up on the #cbdrawaday, I missed one this week and I still have to do today's which is sunset, but I did two paintings today and I'm too tired.
I wanted to talk a little about how I've progressed with being stuck with my painting. For awhile there I hated everything I painted and I was super overworking everything and having small panic attacks about messing up my painting before I started and as I inevitably did that (who wouldn't under such self-induced pressure?) it only made that spiral worse and worse. So I started taking a watercolor class, I never have before I'm completely self taught and I thought it might help loosen me up. I started taking Yao Cheng's watercolor class on Creative Bug, which is fantastic and it did start to help. I think especially Yao's free style was extremely helpful she really tries to paint in the moment, it's amazing. While doing that class I just started setting up multiple stretched paper to paint on so I could just go from next to next to next and keep it going. Having so many paintings going at once helped me a lot because I felt like if I messed this one up oh well I have like 3 more. I'm not 100% recovered from my painting block but, I just keep pushing through it and I am feeling better and better about it.
I still make lots of stuff I don't like and I don't share as well. Which is kind of what I wanted to talk about because the pressure of having to share something everyday for this project really got to me. What if I mess it up? What if it's ugly it will be so embarrassing to share it! I was inspired by my friend Meighan o'Toole www.meighanotoole.com who is so honest sharing her journey as new watercolor artist and has shared paintings she's not happy with to just share what I had even if I hated it. If you aren't familiar with Meighan stop reading now and follow her everywhere and sign up for her wonderful newsletter! You can see her beautiful watercolor work on Instagram she is @meigs. I couldn't stay up all night trying to get the perfect drawing or painting to share everyday, that's ridiculous. Some days I'm super busy, some days I'm super exhausted, lots of days I don't really like what I share but I keep showing up and doing it. I think I look at a lot of the artists instagram feeds I admire and I'm like ah everything they do is beautiful and perfect! I came to the realization that's actually impossible and obviously not true, they just aren't sharing the stuff they aren't happy with. Which is fine, of course you want your feed to be beautiful but it was a good reminder that it's not 100% real. Everything looks perfect from what I can see in that one photo but who knows what I can't see. My new strategy is that I work on 2-3 paintings at a time and that takes a ton of pressure off me, I feel like if I mess up one I have another. Just taking that pressure off has improved my painting and how I feel about it most importantly. I just wanted to share about my journey, maybe you have experienced some of the same things and the comparison game. Sharing everyday is tough people, it just is, but I'm determined to make it through this year and come out the other side a stronger and more confident artist (at least some of the time because...I'm and artist...so...insecurity spirals abound.).